So I'm watching the news this week and casually following the "people's revolt" in Cairo, Egypt. I noticed how jaded I (and most likely all of you) have become when it comes to horrible matters such as the developing revolution in Egypt. I casually watch in the mornings and evenings and to break up some monotany at work i might watch a 3 minute clip on You Tube while craming a cheeseburger in my mouth.
This morning, however, I became much more interested in the matter after hearing a BBC journalist reporting on the sentiment of the Egyptian people concerning The United States and Great Britain.
I know its not very credible to editorialize without specific facts like the reporter's name, but what the hell? This is a blog that 3 people follow because I begged them to!
According to reports from journalist in Cairo the Egyptian people claim to be very pleased with America when they visit here and get to experience ourgeneral lifestyle. Like most of the world many Egyptians say that they would like there country to be more like America. They want our fashion and entertainment and beleive it or not they say that they want an uncorrupt government where the people really have representation. Obviously things are bad over there if our government is an improvement. But the very same Egyptians are also saying that America should support the people of Egypt and not the allegedly corrupt leaders and government. In multiple interviews Egyptian citizens asked why America was not stepping in and taking immediate action to protect and save them from there own leaders.
I find it ironic, frustratig, and a little bit humorous that one half of the Mid-East has declared Jihad and denouncded our country for our "wys" and for policing the world. The other half is becoming upset with us because they want our ways and we are not policing the world enough!
That being said, I think our country is great! Despite the inconsistancies in our own government, struggling economy, and general arrogance this is absolutely the best place in the world to live and raise a family. In a perfect world everyone including the Egyptians would (and should) be able to live like Americans. It is not a perfect world however, and our involvment in foreign affairs is threatening the way of life that the whole world so adimantly desires or hates.
On one sid eof te fence peope agree that we should make agressive efforts to spread democracy and on the other side there are people who say it should not beour concern. I fall somewhere in the middle, but also disagree that spreading democracy is even our primary agenda when we involve ourselves in the rest of the world' business. What we are really spreading is our hands to grab and control as many valuable resources as we possibly can. The most obvious is oil, but metals, gold, and many other things are also valuable and for some reason we ignore our own resources in many cases and spend billions of dollars "spreading democracy" so we can obtain them from places outside of our borders.
For instance, we import the vast majority of our energy needs in the form of oil from placess in the middle east. Including the places that are torn by war and led by terrorist who would only be satisfied ot watch our country burn. While countries in the middle east profit billions of dollars every month on oil that we refine into gasoline they fuel their own cars with natural gas. Natural gas is more abundant in America than any other place in the world.
While our government generates small (by comparison) tax revenue off of our main (seemingly) export, entertainment China's government becomes rich by building an economy on manufacturing everything the world needs ad selling it to us. I understand that in China's case there are many other issues that inflate there booming econmy such as a state-controlled business sector, but that is another discussion.
Countries in Europe and Asia are developing new technologies that will help the world utilize energy more consistantly and without polluting yet their CEOs and bst minds come to America for education. The Chinese send there people to American universities so they can return with the resources to properly run a business.
Love us or hate us, the entire world is profiting and becoming stornger because of America's resources yet we continue to be dependent on everyone's but our own.
As a country we should regroup and assess how much we really need to depend on foreign resources. We should benfit from the world's desire to be like us and live like us. Let Iran and Iraq keep their damn
oil, let the Chinese educate themslves, let'stry to actually build a production-based economy where America is on the cutting edge of technology and manufacturing. If we dont it will only be a matter of time before thee is nothing about our great country that anyone will want to experience let alone emulate.
Perez Hilton Announces he will no longer "cyber bully"
There goes 50% of why anyone pays any attention to him.
All he has to do now is stop being a fag and he will slip effortlessly back in to anonymousness.
He was quoted as saying "I'm 33 years old, I want to grow up, I wanna be a father...." Please, don't get me started. The guys is famous for being friends with people who are only famous for being famous and talking shit about people who are famous for a reason, like they have talent.
It's so annoying how no talent assholes like Perez Hilton get famous. It used to be that you had to at least be attractive or able to sing, act, or play a sport. Now it seems you just have to have b-list celebrity parents or be friends with people with b-list celebrity parents.
Perez's statement proves just how stupid he is. He is pledging to stop talking shit about people when talking shit about people is the only thing that set him apart from the ever growing sea of celebrity gossip columnist and bloggers who are all selling their souls to Satan to get the slightest edge over the competition.
It's not like Perez is an attractive gay man who can become a spokesperson for fashion or, well, anything. He's just a hideous queer with useless information and NO HOOK.
If he was smart he would denounce homosexuality, say he's been cured by the religious right and get a prime time show on Fox News, right after bill O'Riley.
Oh, one last thing. Perez, when you wanna have kids, girls have butts, but you gotta put it in the Vagina.
All he has to do now is stop being a fag and he will slip effortlessly back in to anonymousness.
He was quoted as saying "I'm 33 years old, I want to grow up, I wanna be a father...." Please, don't get me started. The guys is famous for being friends with people who are only famous for being famous and talking shit about people who are famous for a reason, like they have talent.
It's so annoying how no talent assholes like Perez Hilton get famous. It used to be that you had to at least be attractive or able to sing, act, or play a sport. Now it seems you just have to have b-list celebrity parents or be friends with people with b-list celebrity parents.
Perez's statement proves just how stupid he is. He is pledging to stop talking shit about people when talking shit about people is the only thing that set him apart from the ever growing sea of celebrity gossip columnist and bloggers who are all selling their souls to Satan to get the slightest edge over the competition.
It's not like Perez is an attractive gay man who can become a spokesperson for fashion or, well, anything. He's just a hideous queer with useless information and NO HOOK.
If he was smart he would denounce homosexuality, say he's been cured by the religious right and get a prime time show on Fox News, right after bill O'Riley.
Oh, one last thing. Perez, when you wanna have kids, girls have butts, but you gotta put it in the Vagina.
The DC Shart
I am going to reveal to you a very embarrassing moment in my life that i could have chosen to keep private. there is no way that anyone would have known, ever, if i did no disclose this hilarious and disgusting story. for the sake of entertainment, i hope you enjoy this humiliating but honest story that happened on a solo car trip to Washington DC. Also, if this happened to anyone and I knew about it, i would be telling you so its only fair.
It was a typical dreary Ohio day and I was making a road trip to an Marine Corps housing complex in DC. A friend of mine was working for the NSA and his little brother (also my friend) wanted to move back to Ohio to start a band. Even though he sucked (and so did I), I indulged his request to drive nearly 600 miles to pick him up.
I started by packing a small bag of clothes. I was only staying one night so I figured some sweats to sleep in and a fresh T-shirt would be enough. I stopped at the gas station for cigarettes and red bull. I took a whiz, filled the gas tank and started heading eastbound on I-70. I was sporting a new pair of corduroys and a comfortable pair of boxer briefs. In my opinion briefs are like putting your boys in a noose and boxers are like uncaging a pair of wolverines. Plus, with boxers, you run the risk of getting un adjusted and sitting on your own balls! if you are saying to yourself right now "what the hell is he talking about? I wear boxers and have never sat on my balls" then you have tiny balls and should not post a comment on this blog.
Ok, moving along. as i am heading down I-70 I start to get some pretty wicked whiskey farts from the night before. The smell is so nasty I have to roll down the window, but just a little coz everyone likes their own brand, right? I make it past Buckeye lake and I'm feeling good. Only 565 more miles to go. I have plenty of smokes, red bull is still cold, and Nickleback is playing on the stereo.... wait, thats just the farts blowing out my ass, i always get those two mixed up!
My stomach starts aching a bit and i know its the gas. I have a whiskey hangover and I mixing red bull and cheetos to the mix. I try to rip another butt belch but i can't. "Damn!' i think to myself. "This is definitely gonna put a damper on my road trip" After some growling and sharp abdominal pain i feel the juices flowing again and hike a leg up to let one escape.
It's loud and wet sounding, but on top of that I think there is some matter in the mist. I freeze. "Oh Shit!" I think to myself. by this time I have no clue what is transpiring on the road around me. All i can think about is how the possible streak is going to ruin these bad ass corduroys! I slowly put my hiked leg back down towards the seat. Every centimeter my leg descends i am more certain that i have, yes, you guessed it, SHARTED! I am in denial, but as my ass cheek presses to the seat i can deny that shart no more. There is a distinctive feeling that you get when your tightly conforming boxer briefs have been splattered with deuce juice. A tear comes to my eye, but there is no time for crying I have to think fast. Yes, I have just shit my pants no more than 50 miles into a 600 mile journey to DC! Even worse, I have only sweats and a t shirt to change into.
Still traveling down the highway I notice in my peripheral a huge McDonald's. you know, the ones with the place place and a door on the side of the building towards the back. My brain is working extremely fast under the circumstances, and I swerve immediately towards the exit. I don't want to back track 50 miles. My plans are ot get to DC with time to party. I pull into the McDonald and park. I'm hesitant to move form my seat as I have managed to position myself in such a way that has trapped the "flow" from venturing any further from its current location. i open the door and poop out. I mean, pop out.
Cheeks clenched i walk like towards the back entrance of the McDonald's. The door is right by the bathrooms and for that reason there is absolutely no one sitting at the tables nearby. I am only steps away from my salvation! I enter the door and sneak haste-fully to the bathroom. Now I do something I have never done before. I use the handicap stall. I feel guilty, but i am going to need room to operate.
Let me apologize to the minimum wage poor asshole who got stuck with bathroom duty because what happens next is something so cruel it should be reserved for capitol punishment dealt out to only the world's most violent criminals. I wash up with damp paper towels and peel the boxer briefs away with caution. Oh, the smell is horrible. It's like Indian food, jack Daniels, and Detroit air all blended with a sewage catalyst! i must get rid of the evidence and i am not bringing these back to be washed so they go the only place they can go. The bathroom waste paper basket. I scrub the shit out of my hands and leave before i can be seen.
now i think I have made a clean get away, but I am wrong. the get-a-way is anything but clean. i open the door to my 2 door light pick up only to find a streak on the seat that looks like a silhouette of California. to my good fortune I have several beach towels behind the seat of my car. i cover the seat, but get to thinking..... If this streak is on the seat, it had to go all the way through my corduroys! the very corduroys I am now free balling in! So back into the McDonald's I go, this time with my sweatpants. I do some extra scrubbing and on go the sweats. As for the corduroys, you guessed it. Trash can.
For months I did not fart in the car or anywhere away from the privacy and comfort my own home where a closet of clothes and fully functional shower is always close by.
It was a typical dreary Ohio day and I was making a road trip to an Marine Corps housing complex in DC. A friend of mine was working for the NSA and his little brother (also my friend) wanted to move back to Ohio to start a band. Even though he sucked (and so did I), I indulged his request to drive nearly 600 miles to pick him up.
I started by packing a small bag of clothes. I was only staying one night so I figured some sweats to sleep in and a fresh T-shirt would be enough. I stopped at the gas station for cigarettes and red bull. I took a whiz, filled the gas tank and started heading eastbound on I-70. I was sporting a new pair of corduroys and a comfortable pair of boxer briefs. In my opinion briefs are like putting your boys in a noose and boxers are like uncaging a pair of wolverines. Plus, with boxers, you run the risk of getting un adjusted and sitting on your own balls! if you are saying to yourself right now "what the hell is he talking about? I wear boxers and have never sat on my balls" then you have tiny balls and should not post a comment on this blog.
Ok, moving along. as i am heading down I-70 I start to get some pretty wicked whiskey farts from the night before. The smell is so nasty I have to roll down the window, but just a little coz everyone likes their own brand, right? I make it past Buckeye lake and I'm feeling good. Only 565 more miles to go. I have plenty of smokes, red bull is still cold, and Nickleback is playing on the stereo.... wait, thats just the farts blowing out my ass, i always get those two mixed up!
My stomach starts aching a bit and i know its the gas. I have a whiskey hangover and I mixing red bull and cheetos to the mix. I try to rip another butt belch but i can't. "Damn!' i think to myself. "This is definitely gonna put a damper on my road trip" After some growling and sharp abdominal pain i feel the juices flowing again and hike a leg up to let one escape.
It's loud and wet sounding, but on top of that I think there is some matter in the mist. I freeze. "Oh Shit!" I think to myself. by this time I have no clue what is transpiring on the road around me. All i can think about is how the possible streak is going to ruin these bad ass corduroys! I slowly put my hiked leg back down towards the seat. Every centimeter my leg descends i am more certain that i have, yes, you guessed it, SHARTED! I am in denial, but as my ass cheek presses to the seat i can deny that shart no more. There is a distinctive feeling that you get when your tightly conforming boxer briefs have been splattered with deuce juice. A tear comes to my eye, but there is no time for crying I have to think fast. Yes, I have just shit my pants no more than 50 miles into a 600 mile journey to DC! Even worse, I have only sweats and a t shirt to change into.
Still traveling down the highway I notice in my peripheral a huge McDonald's. you know, the ones with the place place and a door on the side of the building towards the back. My brain is working extremely fast under the circumstances, and I swerve immediately towards the exit. I don't want to back track 50 miles. My plans are ot get to DC with time to party. I pull into the McDonald and park. I'm hesitant to move form my seat as I have managed to position myself in such a way that has trapped the "flow" from venturing any further from its current location. i open the door and poop out. I mean, pop out.
Cheeks clenched i walk like towards the back entrance of the McDonald's. The door is right by the bathrooms and for that reason there is absolutely no one sitting at the tables nearby. I am only steps away from my salvation! I enter the door and sneak haste-fully to the bathroom. Now I do something I have never done before. I use the handicap stall. I feel guilty, but i am going to need room to operate.
Let me apologize to the minimum wage poor asshole who got stuck with bathroom duty because what happens next is something so cruel it should be reserved for capitol punishment dealt out to only the world's most violent criminals. I wash up with damp paper towels and peel the boxer briefs away with caution. Oh, the smell is horrible. It's like Indian food, jack Daniels, and Detroit air all blended with a sewage catalyst! i must get rid of the evidence and i am not bringing these back to be washed so they go the only place they can go. The bathroom waste paper basket. I scrub the shit out of my hands and leave before i can be seen.
now i think I have made a clean get away, but I am wrong. the get-a-way is anything but clean. i open the door to my 2 door light pick up only to find a streak on the seat that looks like a silhouette of California. to my good fortune I have several beach towels behind the seat of my car. i cover the seat, but get to thinking..... If this streak is on the seat, it had to go all the way through my corduroys! the very corduroys I am now free balling in! So back into the McDonald's I go, this time with my sweatpants. I do some extra scrubbing and on go the sweats. As for the corduroys, you guessed it. Trash can.For months I did not fart in the car or anywhere away from the privacy and comfort my own home where a closet of clothes and fully functional shower is always close by.
i wish there was cyber bullying when i was a kid
Swirlies, wedgies, sticks, stones, broken bones, and all the other great stuff that went along with regular bullying. that's what i delt with until about the 8th grade when i became about 1 ft taller than everyone else. back in those days you got bullied to your face (or ass, dependng on the severity) and when you went home with a black eye, scuffed knee, or ass crack full of superman tighties Dad put the gloves on with you and tought you a right hook. If you were a real pussy your mom showed you how to kick someone square in the nuts. If your parents were bullies than you most likely left the house with underwear up your ass and came home with a broken hand because you took out your frustration by punching someone like me in the eye.
Of course there was no myspace, facebook, twitter, or even computers for that matter. Bullying was done analog style. right out in the open and being called names or threatened by words was getting off easy!
The worst was when I was in the second grade. I rode my bicycle to the school playground only to find Brian Daggit waiting there to make my afternoon a living hell! If only I had a more extensive vocabulary at 7 years old. While Brian was calling me "Paula Abdul" I could have fired back with a Brian Daggit the... well, you know. That would not have kept him from throwing my bike down the twisty slide a dozen times or from running me down on his bicycle and poping a wheelie right on the palm of my hand as a tried to get up.
Nope, no amount of threatening text or mean spirited status updates could have protected me from Daggit the...., but i sure would have prefered the cyber bully to the real life one. Hell, I was a smart nerdy geek. I would have been the bully if there were cell phones and facebook back then!
Of course there was no myspace, facebook, twitter, or even computers for that matter. Bullying was done analog style. right out in the open and being called names or threatened by words was getting off easy!
The worst was when I was in the second grade. I rode my bicycle to the school playground only to find Brian Daggit waiting there to make my afternoon a living hell! If only I had a more extensive vocabulary at 7 years old. While Brian was calling me "Paula Abdul" I could have fired back with a Brian Daggit the... well, you know. That would not have kept him from throwing my bike down the twisty slide a dozen times or from running me down on his bicycle and poping a wheelie right on the palm of my hand as a tried to get up.
Nope, no amount of threatening text or mean spirited status updates could have protected me from Daggit the...., but i sure would have prefered the cyber bully to the real life one. Hell, I was a smart nerdy geek. I would have been the bully if there were cell phones and facebook back then!
i started the shirt sleev headband trend! SERIOUSLY
Typically i like to be a trend setter. i consider myself a trend setter even if no one else starts doing what i do. i figure, "im doing something no one else is doing, so being the only makes me (by default) the first! a prime example would be a fashion trend that i am taking full credt for that may have come and gone before anyone noticed. several years ago i decided (i was too broke) to not cut my hair. it grew out long enough to get some sick ass corn-rows. anyway, i was painting and doing drywall at the time and i had ot keep it out of my face and eyes. instead of buing a bandanna or a head band, i simply cut the sleeve off of a short sleev t-shirt and proped my hair back using the stiched end of the sleeve. The cut end of the sleeve just kinda did its own thing up there so it got along with my hair right away. because of my high self esteem and healthy self image i decided it was not only functional, but fashionable. everyone otld me i looked ridiculous but i continued to sport shirt sleeve headbands for some time. only one person picked up on my sweet idea and he looked like a fucking moron. never-the-less i looked bad ass and hip. I finally got tired of the hair and the sleeve and got rid of both. Soon after i was amazed to see OSU footbal players wearing shirt sleeves in their hair during post game press confrences! I pointed and i explained to everyone that it was MY IDEA, but no one beleived me. Damn. then,more and more people were sporting my idea. i had invented the craze and decided it was no longer hip before others could catc on!so why am i telling you this? well, i hope that it lends some insight into my overall personality, but the main reason is because i wanted credit. Now I don't have a clue who came up with this whole "blog" idea. (it seams that if you start doing something online that people have done in their analog lives for hundreds of years you get credit for inventing something) but i would not have started this blog ifi wasn't jealous of a friend who started her own before me. so, in hopes that karma will pay me back and Jim Tressel will see me in a crowd one day and say "holy shitty play calling, Terrell! thats the shirt sleeve headband inventor!" i am crediting Tara Brewster for being cooler than me (for the first time in her life) and inspiring me to share my ideas with you! check out the hot mess chronicles
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| Paris' 2nd Bday c. 2006 |
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| c. 2005 |
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